College and my mom destroy me! Seriously, if this world depend on education and money. I don't think God would be please. My mom is so unforgiving! I know God ask us to forgive one another which I will but I feel it's time I follow my own path than others creating one for me. It's the same old same drama rewinding itself.
3. 1 Timothy 6:10
I know about the commandment say about "Honor your father and mother" but how am I to honor if my mom keep on making my life more terrible without any support?! She never once consult with me when I needed someone to talked to. I remember when I did a huge mistake in the past I felt like talking to my mom about it and it was like 8/9 years ago, you know what she said? She said I deserved it.For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
I thought she change for this couple of years because there's laughter and joy but there's no different, when it comes to trouble she is the same person as she was. My sister over read her sms and that good for nothing god child yang tidak tau malu! asked rm200 and my mom okay with it but when her former god child asked for money, she refuses because suddenly she convert to muslim and now she's wanting a divorce and still my mom wouldn't help to be her lawyer, where's the forgiveness? obviously, she just wanting face, and she called herself a St.Franciscan.
Guess what? She even fake a heart attack and asked her right hand man to text me about it.
Don't be tricked by it. If it really was an emergency, they would call but seeing how he sms seems to be calm and FAKE. We've been investigating her so-called heart attack when we called her office and one of her staff said she just went out and eat with ugak (right hand man) but her text that she sent to my sister said she's with the doctor.
Actually my mom is a kind person just she have this bipolar sickness. She been trying to destroy my dad which was far more worst than me. I shouldn't be spreading too much about her mistakes towards her own family because I know she wanting to be the one who is in controlled. A woman can't be in control, it should be the man. What I know is that Jesus want me to forgive and continue forward so I am by not going back but forth. I just let it pass by. Sigh, I just hate it when she scream at the College because of me, can't she say it kindly? I was there holding in my tears in front of the receptionist when they heard my mom screaming through the phone. It was an embarrassment again because it happens before in my previous College too, she asked one of the college staff to talk about me and said that I have problem.
Seriously, I have problem? I'm with a problem that is unsolved, the whole semester I just hold it in only but of course I have a limit, I stopped. Now I know how the girl from Brave feels, that she hated her mom's attitude but I can't let Disney movies manipulate me. I just have to go my way and choose the path that would make me get closer to God. I just don't want money and work to occupy me from the world and I don't want to be suck in by darkness also. I know maybe my Dad wish I continue but . . it's hopeless now. I felt maybe God wanting me to do something else.
So God forgive me for complaining the truth about my mom. I just can't stand it anymore. Please God be with me and forgive my mom for her unknowing deeds that she commit because she not know what she done. Same as Peter asked Jesus.
Matthew 18:21-30
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times